VISION: The colour in this picture definitely draws you in. Plus it's just adorable.
ORIGINALITY: Cute girls in school outfits isn't exactly original, but it doesn't make the piece any less deserving. I did like the galactic look of the hair on the girl on the left, however!
TECHNIQUE: Clean lines, good composition on the main characters. I probably wouldn't have selected plaid as the outline and stars design. Especially against the spotty/static designed background. Something a little bit smoother would work better on transitioning the eyes from foreground to background. Your anatomy is very decent ^ ^ The only things I'd suggest tweaking is the pink girls right leg ( left when viewed, the one on the ground ), as it should probably either be facing more TOWARDS the viewer, or a little more to the left to give her a natural feeling stance. Aside from the legs, probably some hand study as well ( it's okay though, no one really likes hands >w>, no matter how good they are at them )
IMPACT: Colourful, playful and cute ^ ^ But I think what takes a star off for me personally is the background choice and the placement of your deviantart tag. Try opting for a more discrete location, or maybe more off to the side if you still want it obviously noticeable. Just so it doesn't ruin the feel of your picture.